Only Time Will Tale

I could only listen to one song for these past days--a very cheesy one in fact, but it's relevant to my realization of how little time I have here. I know I am echoing so many other UC's students' blogs right now, but I absolutely feel for them. Earlier today, I dwelled upon this fact and I felt a sharp pain in my chest--I usually get this feeling when I am devastated about something. And this is it.

Một vòng trái đất, em ngồi đây.

Anh ngồi đây.

Bên cạnh nhau ngỡ như thật xa.

Không dám nhìn, không nói gì.

Dường như chúng ta chưa từng quen

I know, extremely cheesy. But speaking from the song, it relates to how I feel and constant worry about the future, apart. Like others have mentioned, I am scared of not going back to the states. I am scared of going through that transition period of "re-acculturation." I am scared of returning to the Vietnamese enclaves in San Jose and having the same feeling I had earlier today--that pain in my chest, in my heart.

These memories here will replay in my mind there. Almost as if those memories were dreams. My friends and family will ask me: How was Vietnam? I will tell them the side of the story I know and experienced: these very memories, revelations, and realizations. I will show them pictures, videos, and these online memoirs. They will know, but only I will truly understand.

Like the song, I will go back to my world and you will continue to live in yours. We both have different lives on this round earth. Although we may speak different languages, we still understand each other with our hearts. The universal language of love and friendship; sacrifice and struggle. Goodbye, this is not. See you again, it will be. For sure, one day we will be united again.

In these last 3 weeks here, I know there are many things that I would like to do. It will seem like a rush, but I will try hard to make it not be that way. I've stopped working so I'll spend more time with UCHANU. I'm having so much fun tabling these past days to fund-raise for Nghe An. Check it out:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/One-Heartland-Vietnam/151894661508821

I'm finally feeling a little bit more accomplished in this side of my life here, but on the other side, I still also need to set time to visit my co-workers at the store and the office more. Perhaps next week after we get back from Nghe An during this weekend. I'm also excited for that.

This song will continue playing for the next I don't know how much longer. Speaking of Vietnamese music, I'm also looking forward to complete my research on Vietnamese pop culture for Gerard's class. I am glad I chose this topic because it's making me listen to Vietnamese music, whether old or new (more so, old). I'm growing an extreme appreciation for old Vietnamese music, especially "yellow music" or "nhạc vàng"; the kind of music my parents listen to. Maybe when I get back I'll get into making hip hop beats and old Vietnamese music will be on the first of my list to sample from. What a way to pay homage to the past.

For now, only time will tell this tale of Son Chau's remaining experience in Hanoi, Vietnam. And so, let time speak so that I can speak with it.