Home This Weekend

While everyone was away at Sapa hiking and hurdling through the mountains, I decided to stay home to rest. As much as I am adventurous, I am also a city boy whose comfort zone is exactlythe city zone. I just did not feel like embracing nature to such an extent this time especially when I am constantly reminded of that experience cutting rice and getting totally wasted inside and out. Blah. While I had planned to stay in on the weekend, I followed through with the plan not because simply on that whim, but by circumstance. I was sick the whole weekend because of the same paralleling reason I was sick from the country-side: alcohol. Blah. For one of the nights, my insomnia also came back. I laid there staring into the darkness. Waiting. Waiting to hopefully fall asleep. Blah.

Although the weekend was somewhat painful inside and out. I was able to catch up with a few friends from home online. Thank goodness I did not have work as well though I did miss my co-workers, especially the one who is sick at home having to miss work for one whole week. I hope she gets better soon. It's not the same without you :( :( :(!

I try to avoid thinking about time so much. The calendar makes me sad. I have a tendency to count down the weeks if not days of how much longer I will be here. It's not much. Less than 2 months left. I decided that I will be going back home right after school is over here. Home as in my family in San Jose. The reason why I came here in the first place was because of family. To get away from family to understand family: whatever notions arise from family; what ever definitions, associations surround family. Studying abroad here I believe was a selfish act for me to "soul search"--to learn more, to tìm hiểu (literally, to search and understand). As much as it was a collective journey, it was also an individual journey. After I am done here in Hanoi, this journey abroad may be over, but this journey to "tìm hiểu" will be a life-long process.

I hope to be back in San Jose before Christmas which is also my birthday to celebrate it with my family. I will be turning 22. From what I hear from my Hanoi friends, people around my age often get married. With plans of more schooling down my road, that definitely is not the case for me.. I hope. Sometimes, life is unpredictable as much as we try to plan so much. We'll see what happens from here.

Stressed about:

-You know who

-Women's Day

-Globalization Final (50% of my grade!)

-History Research Paper

-Project Kiem An

-selling my electric bike!

-tương lai (my future) -- GRE, grad school, job searching, oh gawd

If stress is the antithesis of vacation, I guess I am living up to my expectation. Vietnam is not a vacation. Vietnam is not a vacation. Vietnam is not a vacation.